I think I can, I think I can...

I'll start by saying that I feel it's a huge accomplishment that I have done the walk/run thing every Mon., Wed., & Fri. thus far. Let me also say that every morning when that alarm goes off I consider turning it off and going back to sleep. And since I'm being honest, I can also state that once I get to the school parking lot and stare at that track, I have to take a moment to convince myself to get out of the car and go do the damned thing.

I'm about the most reluctant runner in history...but I'm doing it.
This week, however, could prove challenging. Of course it is Thanksgiving, yay for carbohydrate overload and all things in excess! Further complicating things would be that Shawn and I leave tomorrow for Williamsburg. I know that there is a gym near our condo, and I have been assured by my sister-coach that there are plenty of flat areas that would suit us just fine for our Wednesday and Friday jaunts. But we'll be on vacation! We like to travel, we like to explore, we like to eat, drink, and be merry on our little excursions and who can blame us?! Work hard/play hard is the motto at the Hawks Nest ;).

I think it could be a challenge to get Shawn on board with a vacation work-out, though I've already begun laying the groundwork. Last night I commented about how nice it will be to not have to wake up at 6:00 AM for our walk/runs, since we won't have work we can head out whenever we feel like it. I also noted that though the temps are supposed to start getting down right frigid, we have the option of the mid-day run so it won't be so bad! Of course I'm saying these things to convince myself of them as well...but I also know me, and if he doesn't feel the urge to join me for my mile those days, it will be positively brutal trying to get my butt out and moving on my own.

I'm fairly confident that I can run but can't hide from the sister-coach though. It's quite possible that she'll call every day of our trip. 1) Because she loves Williamsburg and gave me a detailed list of places to visit, wine to consume, and Pottage Pie to be eaten. 2) She doesn't want me to slack off...
She may also want gear updates. That's right, she gifted to me some LL Bean runner duds yesterday. Some legging things that I was certain no person of my size was to wear by themselves in public,  a second skin long sleeved pullover with holes in the wrist cuffs, (you know, like those goth kids used to do to their shirts), and some socks which are to be far superior to the good old fashioned athletic socks I've been wearing. She assured me that my Nike's are fine (for now), and encouraged me to continue to wear the Columbia fleece that's been getting a major work-out in its own right these days. 

So this morning, I put it all on, and when I completed the practically ALL BLACK ensemble with my black beanie I was in straight up prowler mode! I'm serious, I looked like a thug...well, except I don't know if common thieves wear clothing that tight. I was almost glad Shawn stayed home today and was half-asleep when I left. He only got a shadowy, squinty eyed view of his lovely wife this morning.  Cat-Woman I'm not!

My time this morning was 13:31 and I don't know if it was the special, leaves nothing to the imagination, "gear" that I was wearing or what - but I felt a little better out there this AM. I was also thankful that it was the lightest of mists today, again, not sure I'm ready for those adverse conditions.
This could potentially be the last blog of the week, as I doubt the laptop will be making the trek to VA, I will update on Facebook, however, and WILL get on that scale of mine before our departure.

Wish me luck! I think I can, I think I can....and Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

2 Down 50 To Go...

Ok, so two weeks down!

This morning's time was my best yet - 13:04. I noticed my time and kicked it into high gear at the end. Another reason I think I shaved that many seconds off my time - I was chasing my husband! Yep - he made good on his word and came along this morning. I am so jealous of his natural ability. This is only his second time running since I've known him, which, is almost 7 years at this point. He runs faster than me, naturally, he's all legs - so he had a pretty good lead on me first 1/4 mile in. Then as I slowed to walk my second lap - he continued to run. That's right - he ran a 1/2 mile before stopping to walk a lap, then sorta walked/ran the last lap...maybe it was just a slow run. I don't know, it was early, I didn't have my glasses and I could only kinda make out his shadowy figure as I panted and forged on with the help of my Pandora Quick Mix! Side note - is Taylor Swift's Dear John really about John Mayer?!

I'm pretty pleased with myself to have stuck with it thus far - this weeks observations/notes:

1) I do love my husband - it's much easier to get up and go in the AM with him by my side.

2) I am pretty sure I have found my abs!

3) I can keep time with the running app I have on my phone - but it only saves my times when it feels like it - I really need to get my nike for ipod reloaded on the nano.

4) They say it takes about 30 days for a habit to form, does that mean I'm half way there?!

5) I have more respect for my little sister every day.

6) Yay - 11 followers! (that I can see)

7) This week I've been more fatigued than last - Coach says that will change, she may just be saying that.

8) I have not bought a pack of cigarettes in over a week. I have had on average 2 cigarettes a day. It's a start! Now if I could only get my supplier to quit!

9) I took my sisters advice and did not weigh myself this week - mainly because I made lasagna this week for our lunches and quick dinners, and it was awesome, and I think it landed squarely on my thighs. Next Wednesday I WILL face that scale, and hopefully deliver some good news!

10) Next week is Thanksgiving - and don't think because we are traveling I will be "off". Nope - Coach is already working on flat courses in Williamsburg for us to try and the Plantation has a state of the art gym. No post-dinner turkey day guilt for me this year!

Message from the Coach:

I read the blog. I would steer clear of two miles at this point. I want you to get to the point where you can run a mile without stopping before increasing your distance. Not good to do so before you are ready, you could injure yourself. I think when you are feeling up to it you should try to run two laps back to back and then walk one and finish with a running lap. This is only run number 5 so as you so wisely told me with my life, "it's a marathon, not a sprint...slow down" Much love and stay on track pun intended. Remember on your off days to get some walking in (take your puff balls) this will keep you moving and building endurance. One thing that you could add and this is only if you are ready and if Shawn is on board...add a Saturday workout of two miles on the track walking and running. This would be considered your overload day which is necessary to continue to build on endurance. So that would mean you are working out 4 days not 3. Up to you at this point. There will be a time when 4 days is not an option :-)

Hmmm, I wonder how long we have until that 4 days is not an option. Ugghhh.

That's all for this week, have a great weekend everyone!!

He always has that affect on me

Ok, so another day, another mile down.
Last nights sleep was again, awful. The severe thunderstorms in the area weren't really helping my cause though either. I recall waking to the sound of thunder around 1:30 AM, I also remember being up and looking at the alarm clock around 5AM. Somewhere in between those two times I awoke and stated "if it's raining, I'm not going"...I remember saying it and Shawn remembers hearing it. I'm not ready for adverse weather conditions - I'm barely on board with this training regimen anyway!
Luckily for me, or un-luckily - depending on how you look at it, when I awoke to the alarm clock at 6AM (well, there was a snooze button smack or two in there), the rain had stopped.
I began to get dressed and asked Shawn if he was coming along - bracing myself for the no, rollover, and cover the head with the blanket move I had gotten the last time he had mentioned that he might join me.
Instead, he said yes. Whatta guy :).
I quickly finished getting ready, let the dogs out and fed them, grabbed some water bottles and we were off. We stretched and I told him about my already strange track habits - where I stretch, where I begin my run, the run, walk, every other lap madness, and how I just can't seem to breathe right. I'm a mouth breather, sleep with my mouth WIDE open too. He agreed, he knows duh, he's slept beside me for over 6 yrs at this point. I was a little nervous for him to see me run, it's silly, I know. We hike, walk, golf, explore together - but I'm certain I look ridiculous when I run.
I made that comment to that effect to him and he thought I was absurd, he's adorable, even if he is lying.
We set off on the run and he makes it look effortless! This guy NEVER runs, his only exercise is on the golf course these days, well, when not in a golf cart. He explained that he wasn't really getting winded, but that his legs were getting sore. We chatted a bit more during the "walk" laps, he retrieved our water for me when I said my throat was getting dry. I thanked him for coming with me, he stated that he doesn't want me to have to do this alone. When we were finished (14:09 today - I blame the wind and the chatting), we again stretched and headed home. I packed lunches, made coffee and played with the pooches, he went back to bed! We are both pretty skeptical of this endorphin high thing those real "runners" speak of.
He later tells me that he thinks he could have run that last lap that I walked. He also said that he thinks maybe we should be doing TWO miles instead of one when hitting the track as to be sure I'm actually running a mile each AM.
Hold it right there handsome! Ugh, maybe next week.
I feel better today, took a few Motrin (should probably buy some stock in Motrin), and am in a better mood all around. He always has that affect on me...

Tireeeed

Wow. I'm beat!

I don't know if it's this new routine of mine finally hitting me, the weather, or what - but yesterday was just brutal! I did complete my AM mile - run, walk, you get the picture. I shaved a couple of seconds off my previous time (hooray for small victories), and did not freeze my behind off thanks to the balmy temps we have been experiencing. Along with the balmy temps, however, comes the runny nose...I can actually remember a time when my allergies weren't year round, just another joy of aging on my part I suppose. Mental note - when laying out my clothes on Tuesday night, stuff some Kleenex in the pocket of the fleece vest - just in case!

At the track I ran into the old lady that didn't find me very amusing last week - she did, however, speak to me yesterday - "it feels like Summer this morning", and she was on her way. There were actually three other ladies at the track yesterday morning, they have beat in age by generations, and they power-walk (well, their version of power-walk) in lanes 3 and 4 as I gasp and carry on in lane 1. After I finished yesterday I didn't feel the little boost of energy that had come to make those early AM work-outs worthwhile. I was tired. A little wobbly, and tired. Did I mention I was tired?!

 I think part of the reason for the fatigue yesterday was the fact that this was my first ever Monday morning run. Now, as much as I am not a morning person, I am even less of a Monday person! Compounding that fact was that I had had the weekend "off", and it was gray and foggy outside. Additionally, even though I went to bed at 9:30 PM the night before in anticipation of the dreaded Monday morning mile - I couldn't sleep! Typically, if I have an event, or appointment, or even if I'm heading off to vacation - the night before sleep is crap. Sunday into Monday was no different. I distinctly remember looking at the alarm clock at 3:30, 4:30, and 5:30 AM before the alarm blared finally at 6:00 AM.

Yesterday dragged, the only thing that really got me through it was knowing that my work load would allow me to duck out right around 5:00 PM and that I didn't have to run again until Wednesday. The blog wasn't happening either - heaven only knows what I might have written.

I dutifully recorded my run in a message to "the Coach", who must have sensed my irritation. She had this to offer in reply;

 

"Great job Vyotta. Don't worry about how long it takes you, the good thing is that you are getting out and moving. You will progress with time and how great will it be to look back and see how well you have done. I am proud of you everyday!"

 

Tomorrow is another day, debating as to whether or not to brave the scale before the work-out as I did last Wednesday morning. I may have a partner joining me for my Wednesday/Friday jaunts as well - that could be just what the Dr. ordered. He's not a morning person either, but he's been there for me for the last 7 years whenever an obstacle arose...we'll see if we both make it to the track tomorrow, I'm sure the old ladies will appreciate his attendance ;).

1 Down 51 To Go...

Well, I did it! I survived my 1st week of Coach Ebaugh's 1/2 marathon boot camp.
We spoke on the phone a little bit ago (Coach is celebrating Veteran's Day in Williamsburg this year), I reported my time -13:54, and she congratulated me on my success the 1st week. "One week down, fifty one to go!" she exclaimed. She's too chipper first thing in the morning, yet another way in which we are polar opposites. I was, however, reminded this morning of one thing that we do have in common - we are stubborn. You can pretty it up if you want - call it tenacity, determination, focus, call it what you want but we are some hard-headed ladies! That was the force dragging my rear end out of my nice warm bed at 6:00 AM today. At that hour I'm not thinking about calories to be burnt, blogs to be written, nope - I'm thinking "I've been challenged, and that little sister of mine probably thinks I will sleep in today". 

(side note: I did remember to lay my clothes out last night - big help!).

The Week 1 Top 10: Positives vs. Negatives of the Week

1. I finished 3 miles!
2. I got up at 6:00 AM TWO days this week to get to the track and get my work-out in which is a MAJOR accomplishment for me.
3. That endorphin rush carries me through to 2PM when I inevitably crash.
4. I now have a nifty little blog and 7 followers (that I can see)!
5. I am not as sore as I thought I would be.
6. I still don't have a running app for my BlackBerry that's worth anything, and today my Pandora wouldn't work either...I guess we could call this one "technical difficulties", oh, need new ear buds too, apparently my inner ear is deformed or something and they just won't stay put if I'm doing anything more than walking
7. I don't have cold weather gear, but I will soon! Thanks JTP!
8. There has been an overwhelming outpouring of support from my friends and family and I know that I need that. I'm needy and aware of it :). THANK YOU!
9. I cannot run more than a 1/4 mile straight without stopping to power walk, but I'm hopeful that will change in the near future.
10. I simply cannot smoke another cigarette and keep this up...I'm breaking up with my cigs officially and finally this weekend. This won't be the first time, but I hope it's my last.

I'm officially "off" til Monday, have a fantabulous weekend, catch you next week!

It was time

Time -
Lunch time = blog time these days.
And who would have guessed that wake-up time would = run time?
The past few days have given me a lot to think about - there have been thoughts about how I spend my time, how I should spend my time, how much time I want to be on this planet...

It was time to make a positive change in my life. It was time to focus on myself. It was time to once again feel in control of what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, the way I'm living.

It was time to try to lose weight - the reasons are clear: I want to be healthy, I want to live  a long life - I do love my life. I want to be able to shop with my girlfriends in the misses or even (Gasp!) juniors section(s) of department stores. I want to be the healthiest possible version of me as we head into this uncharted (for us) IVF territory next summer.
It's really not about the half-marathon at all, besides the fact that I've been challenged, but my sisters time-ing couldn't have been better.

So. this morning, I did the unthinkable, I woke up at 6:00 AM and headed to the track. Getting dressed in the pitch black darkness of the bedroom was an adventure, I made a note to myself that in the future I WILL lay out my work-out clothes the night before. I did my best to be quiet and keep the dogs settled as Shawn remained cozily nestled in our bed.

I went to York Suburban High School which is practically in our back yard. Their track is also that wonderfully squishy turf stuff. To my surprise, there were two others at the track, a guy running and the cutest little old lady arrived about the same time as I did for her morning walk. She said "good morning", I said "it's nice to know I'm not the only crazy one out here today!" - she wasn't amused, said nothing and went about her walk. Yet another running app that I downloaded a free trial of turned out to be crap, something is wrong with the GPS feature, but it did keep a time for me, if not a distance. I switched on the Pandora quick mix and was off, again with the run one lap, walk one lap plan of attack.

My time on Monday night was 14 minutes - I didn't have an accurate timer, used the time on my cell phone as an indicator. This morning my time was 13:58, so I was somewhere under where I was Monday evening, and considering that I am not a morning person (to say the least), I felt pretty good about that.

Let me say this, however, this is not easy for me - I huff and I puff, probably mumble and groan, the entire time. I am looking forward to a time when I don't have to concentrate so hard on my breathing, etc. and can let my mind just go. I'm not as sore as I would have guessed either, which is a plus. I have some tenderness in my calves and my core/abs area - though I wasn't sure that I still had abs?! It's not easy, but it is absolutely wonderful to have support from my family and friends and this blog as an outlet for expressing my thoughts and feelings. It's very therapeutic, and now, I'm accountable. I'm accountable to my "followers" and more importantly, I'm accountable to myself.

Words of wisdom from the coach -
"Oh...meant to tell you, if you get a tattoo please make sure it says 13.1 not 13.2 lol"

 Free clothes AND a tattoo! She really knows the way to this girls heart :)

Reality Check

So last night was mile one.

I was energized and feeling good - so many well wishers, supportive words, etc. By the time I had gotten home Shawn had already taken the dogs out and fed then before he headed off to class. Perfect - I was going to be in and out in no time, well, that was the plan anyway. It took me about a half hour to discover I either have less outdoor active gear than I thought, or it had been so long since it had seen the light of day that I had just plain lost it.

Grabbed some long yoga pants, layered a short and long sleeve tee, then added a fleece Columbia vest for good measure. The gloves I had were too bulky - besides, how could I advance the songs on my Blackberry with gloves on anyway? The headband/ear-cover that had been my best friend during the blizzard this past February was also MIA. I figured I would be warm enough - it was windy, but not terribly cold.
I bounced around the house grabbing a kashi bar, my ear buds and water then found two pitiful puppies waiting for me at the front door. They know what it means when I put on my sneakers - I was leaving, and they wanted in on this walk/run/car ride action. I'm such a softy...

Another 10 min. later I was finally out the door with all my goods, the doggies, and their goods. To the track we went! Shawn had recommended a track near the new gym at York College, it was relatively well lit and that awesome squishy/foamy material (the proper name escapes me). I did some stretching, discovered the running/GPS app that I downloaded the free trial of was actually crap, took a look at the time and started Pandora (I'm not sure why Taylor Swift radio was my motivator of choice). I ran a lap, then walked a lap, ran, then walked, smiled at the girls power-walking on the track, thankful they were there for safety reasons, but sure the sight of me panting as I passed them was nothing short of frightening.
14 minutes of belabored breathing later, I had completed the first official mile of this journey.

I again stretched, then rewarded myself with a non-fat Chai latte from the 'Bucks and the pups and I ran a few more errands before heading home. Took a few Motrin before bed last night and feel surprisingly pain free today, my "off day". The only thing that "hurt" was the figure on the scale that faced me this AM. I figured "what the hell, might as well go all in and face everything I've been avoiding for months"...that is a story for another day. For a tiny battle was won last night, and I'm still rejoicing in it.

Day One

And so it begins...
Last night my younger sister presented me with a challenge. Like I need more of those, right?
Her challenge was for me to use the next year to train for a half marathon in which I would run with her.
Now, I'm a bit of a hard head and not one to shy away from a challenge, this could be though, the most difficult thing I've ever been through.
Where my sister has always been athletic, I was more artistic. She excelled on the field or on the court and I could be found center stage, mic in hand.
My life has been a roller coaster and my weight has always been a good indicator of which twist or turn I might currently be navigating.
I know why she wants me to run - she wants me to be healthy, she wants me to be happy. She wants me to get reacquainted with that young woman I knew in my early twenties, who if only for a moment, had a handle on her weight AND her emotions.
I would drag myself to my parents basement 5 out of 7 days a week, get on that treadmill, press play on the boom box (yes, this was even pre-MP3 player), find a spot to stare at on that cinder block wall, and run. Whatever I was feeling, whatever I loved, hated, wanted, whatever was wearing on me weighed less as I ran, going nowhere.
So much has changed since then - I've moved, completed undergrad and graduate degree programs, I have an extraordinarily wonderful husband, a fulfilling job, an adorable home, and the most loving little puffs of fur a girl could ask for.
Because we have been so busy, studying, working, traveling, dreaming - I have again lost control in my lifelong struggle with my weight. Adding to that is, for the last two years we have been trying unsuccessfully to conceive.
Not a single person out there who has not gone through the infertility process can identify with what we're going through. Because of that, most of what I'm feeling has been internalized, and that void has been filled with food.

So, here's the challenge in the words of my "coach". The gauntlet has been thrown - let's see what this girl is made of!

"First things first...start slowly. One mile three to four times a week walk/run until you can steadily run your one mile without walking or becoming too fatigued. Once that has happened you will be able to progress. It may take a few months, but once you have that first mile down that you can run it without walking and being winded you will be able to move up in mileage weekly. Keep me posted every week on your progress and I will guide you. We don't have to register until Sept. of next year so if things change, no big deal. Let's just see what we can accomplish. Another thing is proper gear. Running in the winter is some of the best running you can get, just make sure you dress appropriately. A hat/ear warmers, light gloves, comfortable pants (not too heavy so sweats are out) and a long sleeve shirt that is warm, but breathes. Put it to you this way, you start run/walk one mile M-W-F for one month On Dec. 6th if you are still doing it and getting the benefits from it, we will go shopping and get you some gear (on me). Well tomorrow is day one...you keep me posted with progress! It helps if you drive your car around a route you may do to get an exact mile that way you know how far you have gone and how long it takes you. Let me know after each run; the time, and how many times you had to stop and walk. I will keep track and progress you when you are ready. This could be really fun :-)"