Coming Clean

My last entry was on February 3ish, just days before Corey's funeral.
What I didn't disclose at that time, was that not only were we grappling with our grief, we were also in the midst of fertility treatments, tests, etc. All of which aren't exactly conducive to a regular running routine. We were experiencing emotional whiplash from the ups & downs. I should mention that the fact that we were even revisiting IUI was a miracle in itself - not 6 months prior we were informed that it was IVF or nothing. This was a gift in our eyes, a chance that we had to take even  though our hearts were broken and the world just didn't make any sense.

February 4th there was an HSG that left me crampy and in no position to run. February 9th was more blood work - I have amazing veins ;), February 10th was the IUI procedure. February 17th - more blood work, thank heaven their phlebotomist is an angel, and also an ovary check and the plan was to have a pregnancy test yesterday. During the "two week wait" after the IUI and before a test you need to, well wait.
Take it easy, rest, etc. Especially me. My sister-coach is also an anxious aunt-to-be and was adamant about the fact that because I have only been running for a few months - my body isn't as used to it. So I was benched. I have not forgotten about my blog, my blog followers, or my goals - however incompatible they may be.

I did cave and ran on the GORGEOUS February 18th afternoon where temperatures reached 70 degrees and made us remember why we love love love Spring so much. I ran Old Farm (alone), and my time was 12:42. I ran in a T-shirt and Capri work out pants and found that the warmer temps actually hindered my performance. Maybe those of you who insisted 40 degrees is the optimal running temp are on to something. Of course not four days later we were once again buried in 6 in. of snow here in York. So as Winter refused to give way to Spring I remained sidelined even though I had come to the realization that the IUI procedure had not been successful.

But today is a new day, and I'm doing my best to put the events of the last week, well month really, behind me and start fresh! This morning as Shawn prepared for work at the tax office (is tax season over yet?!), I dressed, and stretched and prepared myself to be reacquainted with the squishy track. I can't believe it - but it had been since my 1st solo mile run w/out a stop since I had been there. The unseasonably awesome Friday that I ran - well, the track was over taken by students with Spring fever - but this morning it was ALL mine :). I was back, and with a vengeance too - a personal best of 11:48!

That's new numbers and probably a new regimen. Sister-coach had informed me that once I was under 12 minutes I would move up to 2 miles per run. And though my breaths are still belabored and the runs are by no means easy, I'm kind of excited about it. Milestones are good...across the board.
Of course I am keenly aware of the fact that another round of IUI is looming, we take things one day at a time around here. We embrace small victories, and though actually completing a half marathon will have meant that we remained unsuccessful in conceiving, it will make the blow less difficult to bear.

So, I thank you all for your continued support, I need it!

Good Riddance January 2011

Ok, so it's been a while since my last blog entry...in my defense, just because I haven't been blogging doesn't mean I haven't been running. Thanks to my handy dandy runkeeper app I can even recall, with a touch of a button, my work-outs since my last post on January 20th.

Saturday January 22nd I ran a new route down Old Farm, then Greendale and back. My mile - which includes significantly more serious inclines, was timed at 13:07.
Sunday January 23rd (yes, I really ran a Saturday AND a Sunday), again with the new route - and a new personal best solo mile was 12:43! I felt so good that weekend. The sun shined both days, easing the cold a bit (and it was faaareezing here), I got in two work-outs and lots of family time while my husband was away at Greek Peak for a ski weekend with his buddies.

Tuesday January 25th - My first run with Leo! Ran the new Old Farm/Greendale Route with the furball in 13:04. Leo did a great job of staying with me. If he got distracted, I gave a little tug on the leash, but for the most part he was an old pro! I worried about his size, would he tire, etc. Puhlease! That dog made me feel like a total slow poke - only breaking out into a full out run himself we ran down a pretty steep hill toward his favorite stop sign. It's kind of nice having a new run buddy since Shawn is now working full time, part time (through tax season), and taking two grad classes. I feel bad for Jack-Jack though...I need to master the use of the coupler and the double dog run.

After that Tuesday, the sickness set in. Thankfully I didn't end up with the full fledged stomach flu that Shawn had been fighting. Instead I got the upset stomach/head cold combination that made no sense at all.
I wanted to rest through the weekend as to not be totally sidelined the following week, and this past Monday I began the day with the plan that Shawn and I would both be running after work that evening. I wish that Monday had gone as planned...I received a call about mid way through my work day from my frantic husband. One of his closest friends, who was also along for that ski weekend just the weekend before, had passed away Sunday evening at the age of 31. I would say that gutted would be a good word to describe how we've been feeling. No, Monday didn't go as planned and neither did Monday night. Instead of running Old Farm with our dogs - Shawn and I met up with some of his buddies, some that he hadn't seen in way too long, to remember our fallen friend. We ate wings, drank beer, played pool and Tom Petty in his honor, and each day since we hope the pain begins to ease.

Tuesday & Wednesday blessed us with rain, snow & ice and made my street more of an ice rink than I cared to attempt a run on. It also brought February, which HAS to better than the month of January. I don't think a New Year has ever started so horribly for me...but my fingers, toes, and eyes are crossed that this year starts shaping up for this crew. And I have to say that no matter how bad things seem - I have a wonderful love, amazing family, and the best friends a girl could ask for...that much I am thankful for not just during trying times like these, but always.

Today is Thursday, and I hurt as we approach the final farewell this Saturday, but tonight the plan was to run, to feel something else, to feel ALIVE, and I did. Leo gave me the guilt trip as I laced up my running shoes, so he tagged along. We ran Old Farm only as I feel a touch of the head cold still lying in wait in my chest and really didn't want my first run in over a week to include that one hill in particular that on a bad day could lay me out flat. We did surprisingly well: 12:47, which I am pretty confident could have been my solo best had I not slowed to check on that cute accountant that was walking toward my house as I passed by.

Other update(s) - I have been informed by my Sister-Coach that once I hit 12 min. flat for a mile - NOT 10 - we will bump it up to 2 miles at a time. Slowly but surely. Also, I may have come across another inspiration to get me to up the ante as far as this training is going - a co-worker has given me info. on The Out & Back run in Philadelphia in April. An evening run along the water (4 miles) followed by drinks and dancing at a local mansion. Proceeds benefiting ALS. Will keep that one in mind and keep you posted.

I'll keep plugging away at this as long as any conflicting goals do not interfere...more about that later. But tonight I felt good about getting back out there and doing anything that might just keep me here on this planet with my loved ones a tiny bit longer. Broken plans sure put things into perspective...