Runner's Guilt

For starters, I can't believe it has been over a month since I posted a legitimate blog entry. I know, the before and after pics are cool and all - but that was kind of a cop out. Though, it is increasingly awesome and equally motivating to do those side by side comparisons. I am so entirely different in so many ways than I was just over a year ago. The physical changes are remarkable, but this running game is more mental than I ever gave it credit for. Furthermore, knowing that I CAN do this, makes me feel like I CAN do anything.


Let's be real, no one really thought I was going to see this thing through. My sister has admitted it to me, my boss has informed me that "none" of my co-workers really took this 1/2 marathon thing seriously. Not even my dear, sweet, husband, who by now knows the hardness of this head, thought that in exactly 40 days his wife would be running in a half marathon. (I have suggested that such an awesome feat is gift worthy - will keep you posted).


September was absolutely brutal on the training front. I had no idea that we would be swapping an Indian Summer for a Monsoon Season (hurricane & mini quake to be followed by flood).
Combine the questionable weather with the trifecta of major event planning (one to be postponed due to said flood), throw in a lake trip and this girl was all sorts of off schedule and exhausted. Within the past week or so I have come to feel that I am again in "training mode", and though I run, and run, and run, I still don't really consider myself to be a "runner", I don't call myself a "runner", I'm not trying to race my way through this 1/2 marathon. I'm not in it to win it (obviously), I simply want to finish it. No stopping, with the exception of the water station breaks - oh, and I want the medal, and the post race kiss pic with my man ;).


To date, I have not experienced this elusive runner's high - but I am becoming all too familiar with the lesser known "runner's guilt".  You can ask "runners" about the runner's high and you will get varying accounts - I'm guessing because we all have different biological/chemical make up and our bodies respond to things differently. But by definition the runner's high is "a feeling of euphoria experienced by some cross-country runners and joggers as they near the end of a run. The feeling of elation is believed to be associated with the body's production of endorphins during physical stress." Mosby's Medical Dictionary - and yes, I did just make an internal citation in my blog post...too many years of writing papers, but you get my point.


No, I don't personally know this runner's high, but as of late the guilt that I feel when I don't run, or when I don't feel like running is just as powerful! This voice in my head, this nagging feeling I get, then there is the facebook friend postings, so & so just completed a run with RunKeeper!, so & so is headed to DC for a 10 miler, so & so just picked up the weekend race packet. Ok, ok, I get it! That runner's guilt was never more effective than this past Sunday.


Saturday morning was full of family time and vendor food at the National Apple Harvest Festival. Saturday night I basically had a Super Bowl menu all to myself - nachos, wings, beer...aka heaven. Then we hit up a friends party where the festivities continued into the wee hours of the morning with yours truly experiencing her best game of beer pong, ever.


When I awoke Sunday morning, the very LAST thing that I wanted to do was drag my butt to the track. The goal had been to complete 10 miles for the first time since the Rail Trail 10 Miler on 8/27. At this point, that seemed down right insane. I took the dogs out, put on a pot of coffee and stared longingly at the apple dumpling that I picked up at the festival the day before. My stomach grumbled. Fed the dogs, went back upstairs and sat on the bed...then the voice crept in. It's so nice out, you know at least three people running at this very moment, only a little over a month until the 1/2 marathon, you have so many people routing for you....ENOUGH!


Got up, got dressed, popped two Excedrin Migraine, one Zyrtec D and hit the track. I ran the 10 miles in my best 10 mile time (so weird to write), just under 2 hrs & 15 min. The guilt got me out there, but I saw it through. After my nap - yes, there is always a nap on long run day, I realized that if I can run 10 miles after a night filled with crappy food, beer and get out there on 5 hrs of sleep, I'll be smooth sailing on 11/20. Here's hoping!

What I've been up to since my last post:

8/31/11 - "Feels like fall & I love it! struggled a bit this a.m. bit getting. back in the swing of things." 

2.35 mi run with RunKeeper

Duration 0:30:02 | Calories Burned 275

Average Pace 12:48 / mi | Average Speed 4.69 mph | Elevation Climb 86 ft

9/3/11 - Rail trail run with Lori - "Stupid rain! cut us short!" (aka the beginning of monsoon season in south central PA)

3.19 mi run with RunKeeper

Duration 0:40:03 | Calories Burned 406

Average Pace 12:35 / mi | Average Speed 4.77 mph | Elevation Climb 247 ft

9/13/11 - "Back at it, easing in...lovin the cooler temps, but not how dark it is in the a.m."

2.43 mi run with RunKeeper

Duration 0:30:01 | Calories Burned 295

Average Pace 12:21 / mi | Average Speed 4.86 mph | Elevation Climb 99 ft

9/14/11 - "Woo. tired! good time, but I think these allergies are working against me"

3.31 mi run with RunKeeper

Duration 0:40:01 | Calories Burned 413

Average Pace 12:05 / mi | Average Speed 4.96 mph | Elevation Climb 130 ft

9/16/11 - The Lil Golf Tourney That Could...how many calories does one burn driving around on a golf cart and consuming beers all day?! My husband swears it's a sport (well golf in general), my performance on this day was all star worthy :).

9/18/11 - 9/20/11 - Deep Creek Lake with the bestie & fam...is wine tasting considered an "activity"?

9/20/11 - 9/24/11 - Rain, rain and more rain, then, the threat of rain...this fair weather runner was seriously considering a Planet Fitness membership. Ugh.

9/24/11 - "Finally a dry morning! easing back into it, @ York College this a.m., HS football players have invaded Suburban!"

5.01 mi run with RunKeeper

Duration 1:08:59 | Calories Burned 548

Average Pace 13:46 / mi | Average Speed 4.36 mph | Elevation Climb 266 ft

9/28/11 - "Took every oz. of will power I had to drag my butt out of bed this a.m.! ready for this humidity to leave, it's practically October, jeez!"

3.45 mi run with RunKeeper

Duration 0:45:01 | Calories Burned 391

Average Pace 13:04 / mi | Average Speed 4.59 mph | Elevation Climb 141 ft

9/29/11 - Wine & Tapas Ladies Event for Roseville Wealth Management Group - actually wanted to run, but alas, another rain soaked a.m.

10/4/11 - "Brrrr! week is off to a good start, 1hr at the gym last night, over three miles this a.m., and here comes the sun! I watched it rise :)."

3.39 mi run with RunKeeper

Duration 0:45:01 | Calories Burned 380

Average Pace 13:17 / mi | Average Speed 4.52 mph | Elevation Climb 138 ft

10/5/11 - "Double dog walk done! I ♥ this old neighborhood, Hillcroft is all dressed up for Fall."

2.01 mi walk with RunKeeper

Duration 0:40:00 | Calories Burned 199

Average Pace 19:54 / mi | Average Speed 3.01 mph | Elevation Climb 198 ft

10/6/11 - "Chilly this a.m., looking forward to a break and a day of apple filled goodness Saturday."

4.01 mi run with RunKeeper

Duration 0:52:22 | Calories Burned 454

Average Pace 13:05 / mi | Average Speed 4.59 mph | Elevation Climb 146 ft

10/9/11 - "Gold star! especially after last night! PS its hot!!" - yep sunburn after I froze on my a.m. runs this week, crazy weather.

10.01 mi run with RunKeeper

Duration 2:14:53 | Calories Burned 1178

Average Pace 13:29 / mi | Average Speed 4.45 mph | Elevation Climb 334 ft

Homegirl has a waist!

Pic 1 - 4/29/11
Pic 2 - 7/14/11

Pic 3 - 10/4/11